By Brenton Thom Ah yes, it’s that time of year again... the time when the New Year hits and for a solid three months (January, February and March) we get all the crummy, cheap movies the studios have been sitting on. And this movie is no exception. With a surprisingly well-known cast, we have Johnny Depp as Charlie Mortdecai, Gwyneth Paltrow as his wife, Johanna, and Paul Bettany as his manservant and muscle, Jock. On top of that, we also have Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, and Jeff Goldblum! These are all terrific actors in their own rights. Some of them have won various awards and have a lot of star power behind them. We even have a skilled director/writer, David Koepp, behind the wheel directing. But what went wrong with MORTDECAI? It’s hard to boil it down to just one element, but the script is definitely the biggest issue. The plot is pretty straight-forward. It’s almost a spoof of a James Bond story! A once-rich art connoisseur (Mortdecai) is asked by MI5 to investigate a missing painting and use his underground connections to find the culprit. A series of mistakes and misunderstandings lead to hijinks. What the story really lacks is emotion and any real stakes. The movie is not quite a screwball comedy, but when your average movie goer watches some rich person struggle with some simple things, it’s not at all that funny. The things that work are the elements that have no connection to the story. There is a running gag that Mortdecai grew out his moustache and has become grown to it, while his wife and others are disgusted by it. There is also a running gag of Jock shacking up and being a sex magnet with every women he encounters. These things work fine and are quite funny. But the overall story is lacking. Your main character is a bit of a rich prick, frankly, and if you don’t care for him, it's hard to care about him when he gets into trouble. There aren’t any stakes. What really surprised me about this movie is the director, David Koepp. He has directed some solid movies in the past: STIR OF ECHOES, SECRET WINDOW (also with Johnny Depp), and GHOST TOWN. The guy has even great blockbusters under his belt as a writer, such as JURASSIC PARK, the first MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, and the first SPIDER-MAN. He has quite a resume, but it boggles my mind that the film has no ‘umph’ or meat to sink your teeth into. Granted, the visuals are pretty good and I like the overall look and style of the film, but I wish Koepp would have dabbled in writing some of the script himself. The script was written by Eric Aronson, a rookie and new writer to Hollywood. I wish he would have maybe done another draft and made expanded on the characters a but. Some of the actors and characters are underutilize and there isn’t enough depth or meat for them to chew on. Now, I’m not trying to completely bash this movie. Like I said, there are some good elements to the flick. I really liked the transitions between scenes/locations, for example. We would start in an exterior and go to a heighten and exaggerated version of the city/country, and travel along the sky to the next location in a unique fashion. Each time we went through that, it was a lot of fun and a neat way to travel to the next location and tell our audience where we are at. Overall, the movie is barely okay. It felt pretty by-the-numbers. As far as comedy goes, I don't think it fully delivers. If anything, it’s a lighthearted action mystery. A little bit of James Bond and not enough stakes. There are a few jokes that are funny, and some of the performances are good, but the movie over all is disappointing. I’d recommend waiting until Blu-ray to see this flick, unless you’re a hardcore Johnny Depp fan and you need to see everything he does on the silver screen. If that's the case, by all means go for it.
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